WAR EAGLE!

Congrats to a great season Tigers! The game this weekend proved the champions you are! (Just had to put a blurb in for ya)

Thanksgiving

The things I am thankful for....

1. My children, their health, their happiness and their overall sweetness :)
2. My mom and dad...they are the best parents ever
3. My husband...most of the time ;)
4. My dear friends, mostly in the cyber world, you know who you are!
5. My inlaws, they do the best they know how ;)
6. My home, it's not the greatest house in the world but sooooo much more than some have
7. My cars, hey they work.
8. My extended family
9. My sense of humor (needed for all of the above)
10. GOD

There are plenty more and these all change in order given the moment of thought. I have a blessed life and I am thankful for ALL that I have.

Tony

CONGRATULATIONS TONY!

I knew you would pull it off and I was so happy when you did it. I even got to call my dad and GLOAT! I LOVE IT. This has been such a great year, can't wait for next year. OOOHHH and to see ya all dressed up for the banquet.....I might faint.

All Dolled Up

We went to a wedding last month. No one ever sees me like this, even though I dress this way all the time LOL. It was fun to dress in peace, we actually got to shower together (ooohhhlala) and then enjoy an adult night drinking, dancing (yeah I was dancing with some girlfriends...Jay does not dance) and just plain whooping it up for an evening. My parents had the kids, so no worries there.

*That GAWD AWFUL painting in the background is the bane of my existence. I bought that masterpiece when we first married at a yard sale AS A JOKE! Jay fell in love with that damn thing and I have had to endure it in every living room since. Doesn't the vomit green color we painted the walls compliment it well?*

SYRUP NATION

I know I am going to hell when all is quiet in the playroom. The boys are not capable of anything that is remotely quiet. I was in such a zone, trying desperately to get my Christmas cards and pictures ordered, that I completely blanked out on the nonnoise factor. In TEN GDAMN minutes...yes that is all it takes when you are boy geniuses, they were up to NO GOOD. Drig comes running out, screaming. I think "what has Kai done now?" He comes over with his arms spread looking for his hug and what else would the best mom ever do? (ok I am pushing it but damnit I need some reassurance every now and then) So, we are in the middle of the best bear hug and I notice that his hair is wet. I think, "well isn't that lovely, your brother poured water on your head." NO, I was wrong....it is SYRUP! At this point I realize that not only is it in his hair and mine too, but also all over his entire body. I raced into the playroom only to find Kai has stripped down to his undies, and there is that fine drizzle of syrup over the entire room. Apparently he thought it would be fun to see just how far he could make the bottle go. He filled two hats and placed one over Drig's head, the other was for the unsuspecting Clifford stuffed dog. He had spoons and plastic egg halves partially filled, laying amongst the dinosaurs that are now posed eating from said containers. I had to call my mom, just so I didn't lose it. My morning was supposed to be so different but alas, the boys got a bath and the darn carpet got yet more cleaning. I swear it will wear out from my scrubbing, one day I will rub and the carpet will melt away in my hands. I love my boys, I love my boys, I love my boys....one day soon I can stop convincing myself.

And the other exciting news of the day...
Jay comes in tonight and announces that he is going to interview for a job in Tobago (as in Trinidad, like some island down by Venezuela) WHAT??? He has convinced Keara, she went to bed humming some island tune and asking if we can live on the beach? Again WHAT???? This will take me a couple of days to digest.

I think he must be on something, no truly!

Puff Piece

Do all kids like cheese puffs? Or as Kai says "cheese puffesses". Seriously there are certain foods that must just be universal "SHUT THE KIDS UP, FOODS." I am convinced of this. Example: have you ever seen a child refuse Pringles, fries, school pizza, or ice cream? I mean these are the wondrous foods that if you dangle them in front of any child, they will become mesmerized into a stupor. This is the perfect time for you to go potty by yourself, I tell ya! And yes there are some strange kids out there that won't fall for it but the majority will, so hey go for it! And the great part is that mostly you can feel ok about not just giving them candy (which is not against the law BTW) and really adding some kind of that damn pyramid into the mix!

I know strange blurb in my usually so deep blog, but every now and then I do have dumb down days!!!

Padraig's Story

Written a couple of days after his birth...

On Friday the 11th we went in for an u/s and found that the cord was near his neck. I freaked out and we tried to get the Drs to do something early but were told that I would probably end up with 2 amnios which have risks in themselves. So we worried all weekend and went back on Tuesday the 15th. We had another u/s and this time did color Doppler, found a lot of cord again under his chin, around his arm and just everywhere. The Dr. decided to go ahead and send us on the 16th to get the amnio.

Wed. morning we got to the hospital at 6am. They did the amnio at 7, which BTW I had no anesthetic and did not hurt at all, I was so scared but it was so easy. The Dr. commented that he was glad we were doing it because there was a "mile of cord in there". He told us he doubted that the quickest test would come back mature because he was 35 weeks. But at 10 or so he walked in with a big grin and said we were good to go.

I won't bore ya with all the section details lets just say it was long because I had a lot of scarring from the last one. At 11:40 Padraig was born 6lb 3oz, 18 in., with the cord wrapped around his neck once if we had waited the week, I don't think the outcome would have been good. They again said there was tons of cord. Plus the Dr. said my uterus was too thin to have labored so its good I didn't.

Padraig was taken with daddy to the NICU where they watched him. He did great and just needed warmth. He came in to recovery and started nursing like a champ. My recovery was great, this time they gave me a PCA so I was much better off. The first night went well. Padraig was good until about 5am the next morning. He had a spitting session and they whisked him off to the nursery where he apparently went blue. They told me that he went to NICU for blood sugar levels. I was a wreck because I couldn't go to NICU until they removed my Foley. They were delaying it every way possible because of stabilizing Padraig. They came in and had me pump and changed my meds before they finally got the Foley out at 8. I practically jumped out of bed to get down there. He was in a warmer with all these wires and stuff attached made my heart break. I did get to feed him and just hold him for awhile. To make a long story short, he stayed the entire day in there and was finally back with me in the evening. He stayed good for the rest of the stay!! We were released on Saturday.

Since coming home Padraig had to go to get weight checked that Saturday and Sunday because he lost too much in the hospital. Then on Monday we went back to see the Dr. He was back to 5lb 11oz. On Wednesday evening he stared the spitting again, so we took him back Thursday and we are now trying Zantac for Reflux. He also has an Inguinal Hernia so we are in the process of scheduling surgery for that. All in all he is the most precious little guy ever. He sleeps a lot more than the other two ever did which makes it easy for me J .

In the meantime, Keara developed a fever of 104 last week and is now on antibiotics, doing better. Kai just started his fever Sunday and is on antibiotic too, still has his fevers but he is a great sick kid. I developed a fever Sunday as well. Went in and had cervical cultures and labs. I am on antibiotics too and just barely hanging on. The upside is all my weight will be gone by the time this is over. Jason is a saint for sleeping on the floor and taking care of kids, me, house, laundry, everything! Keara is a little mama to Padraig and Kai is the cutest. He walks over all the time and in the highest pitched voice says "hey there". Then he softly kisses the back of his head. He truly loves him.

Kai's Story

Written acouple of days after his birth...

His story actually starts on the 30th of July. I started to notice that Kai was not moving around that much, being previously very active, I was slightly concerned but he still passed the kick count test. On Mon. he was basically the same and I just kept watch. Then Tues. we had our appt. with the NST. He was definitely off. He usually kicked the entire time but he wouldn’t move at all this time. The Dr. buzzed him and he did move then but still not usual. He had one decel so they sent us to the hospital for the Stress Test. I got my ctx going every five minutes and he seemed to tolerate them fine so they sent us home. On Wed. and Thurs. he continued to act lethargic…which is what I had told the Dr. on Tues. Then on Thurs night I started with regular ctx. every 10-12 mins. I debated going over to be checked but decided to shower and try to calm down to see what happened. As it turned out they died down and I went to bed. During these ctx. Kai was pretty active so I never worried there.

On Fri. morning I got up and decided to do the kick count because I had had such a stressful night before. I had coffee, orange juice and a poptart to get Kai going and laid down. In an hour I got only two rolls. I called the dr. and told them I was concerned so they had me come in at 1pm. When I got to the clinic at first they tried to tell me that this was totally normal and I had to bite my tongue or I would have cried…I have heard this so often and yet I also lost a son too, so I didn’t need that. Kwim? They decided to hook up the NST again and at first they didn’t get a heartbeat. My stomach was so queasy. Then we had the hb but he was not moving. They came in and did the buzzer again and this time not only did he not move but he deceled into the 80’s every time. I knew something was really wrong. They quickly rushed us over to the hospital again and hooked up the stress test. I started ctx again and this time he deceled and didn’t rebound good at all. The Dr. wanted to be very sure though so we stayed on the monitor for 2.5 hrs. In the meantime I told my mom to get her booty driving, cuz I was not leaving the hospital, even if they told me to!!

After all the monitoring, the Dr. decided that Kai was struggling….he thought I had uterine placental distress. I told him again that I felt Kai was lethargic and again he said that wasn’t the issue!! He debated on trying vaginal, just because I was so favorable but decided that if Kai was stressed with theses little ctx, how would really big ones do. So they said c-section. I was there in the observation room and all of a sudden everyone descended on me. They kicked Jay and Keara out and within five minutes I was being wheeled to the surgical room. Let me tell you, I was seriously shaking with fear! They wanted to do the general but I said the spinal would be fine! It all happened so quickly from there and felt like a dream. I couldn’t tell when he came out but when I heard him scream, man I cried uncontrollably. Then they started talking about his cord. The dr. said he had never in his career seen five loops around the neck. And once again I had a super long cord….Killian’s was 6ft. now I am convinced that it is genetic and in males for us.

I finally got to see Kai after what seemed forever and amazingly, he scored 8, 9 on apgars. He is such a doll. I won’t go into major detail about the recovery but lets just say, it wasn’t fun. I am allergic to all the narcotics they gave me. If you got this far thanks. We are just so thankful that Kai is alive. Jay was so sweet; he came into recovery to quickly say…"thank you for saving our son."

Keara's Story

Keara was my easiest birth. I have misplaced her story, so excuse the roughness of this account 7 years later....

Keara was a planned induction, given what had happened to Killian. Everything in her pregnancy was smooth. (ok I did have some aches and pains mostly my p. bone...and I did have some preterm labor issues but they resolved pretty easily) We had to be at the hospital at 6am, it was a 1 hr and 20 minute drive to get there, so we were dragging by the time we arrived. They hooked me up to all the monitors and the pitocin at about 7:30. By about 11am I started to get some pretty horrendous contractions. I already decided that this kid was gonna be an epi child so when they checked me at that point and I was 4.5cm, I said "Bring it on!"

They inserted the epi. OH how I fell in LOVE with my epi Dr. I think at that point I even told him so! LOL Anyway, I am the sort that gets paralyzed from the epi from the chest down. I cannot move a muscle. I am also allergic to whatever the narcotic that they use, so I itch intensely. Jay can account for the itching as I was asking him to be the scratcher (and if you know how it feels to itch on the inside, places you cannot reach, you will understand the agony I as well as Jay were in)

I finally reached 6cm at around 3:30-4. But I got stuck. My dr. had an emergency come in and said if I could go faster, he will be delivering but otherwise I had to have the BITCH dr. I had despised (you know the female dr. who simply tells you that you are too fat and need to stop overeating...umm I DID NOT overeat, I gained a lot more with Killian, ugh) So, I was freaking out. I could not think about having this woman in there. Finally my dr. came back and said he had to go, so I was stuck.

At 5ish I figured out that I hadn't been given a cath and that was keeping Keara too high. They came in and inserted one and OMG I have never seen that much pee...Jay was dying! But that was the trick. Keara decided about 10 minutes later to come on down. I went from the 6cm to the 10 in less than 30 minutes. At this point I decided that I wanted my mommy. I didn't know that Jay would tell the bitch dr. to back off if necessary but knew mom would. So she joined Jay and I in the labor room. (I did have to strictly advise that there were to be NO pictures of my hoohaw or boobies while she came out or breast feeding cuz my mom would have totally done that)

It took me a full 3 contractions...with 4 pushes each to get Keara out. At one point they asked me to stop pushing, yeah right, like that is gonna happen NOT. She came out and was not crying, so that worried me a lot. But she was just a quiet thing early on. She whimpered but nothing else. She got great apgars and was perfectly pink before they even cleaned her. I swear to G*d that all the nurses and drs all said she was so gorgeous. I didn't even see any blood on her when she was laid on my belly.

I had some tearing and an episiotomy but everything else was great. We went home and this time when I left I had a beautiful baby girl in my arms. It was the best feeling ever. Keara was perfect and I was so HAPPY.

Killian's Story

Written some time in the early months after his death...

We had been trying to get pregnant for so long. We starting charting temperatures and using the ovulation kits. In April 96 we finally did it. We were so excited. We went to the Dr. and confirmed it. Then I started to spot. We went in for an ultrasound to find that there was no sac. I had miscarried. We were completely devastated but nothing could prepare us for what was to come.

We waited the three long months after I m/ced to try again and everything went perfect. On August 30th we went to a James Taylor concert and conceived that night. (We decided that we would name a girl after him; Jenson Taylor.) Once again, we were thrilled. I started to spot again and we thought we were going to lose another baby. We went in for the u/s expecting the worse, but instead came out floating on a cloud. We had a heartbeat. We were nervous but we knew that if I got into bed the baby would be fine. I stayed in bed for 2 weeks until I started to not just spot but bleed. I remember it as it was yesterday, my husband and I were playing cards in bed and I thought I had just wet myself, we were laughing. Then I passed a clot that I thought was the baby (I'm sorry so graphic but that is what I thought.) My husband collected it on the Drs. advice to bring to his office in the morning. When we arrived, once again, I thought the worst. We got another u/s that showed a very strong heartbeat and placental abruption. Apparently this was the cause of the original bleeding as well. I was only 12 weeks at this point and resigned to bed rest. Well, at 14 weeks I went back to get yet another u/s (that we recorded) and discovered that all that rest had paid off. I was completely healed. Oh did I mention that I was not allowed to do anything? It was really hard on my husband but he was great. Finally I would be allowed to walk around and at least do some "light" activities. It sounds great so far and it was.

I started to show big for my duedate and I had some normal complaints...my son was extremely active and heartburn were two that come to mind. He also had hiccups all the time. I was going through what I considered normal.

I went in for my 36 week checkup on Tues. April 22, 1997, and everything was right on schedule. In fact, the Dr. said that if I were to go into labor they would not stop it. On Thurs. I was really feeling sick and stayed in bed most of the day. I noticed there wasn't much movement but I wasn't concerned because everyone had told me that it would slow down at the end. The next morning I noticed no movement. My son was not like that, so I called and they told me to do the kick count. I did it and nothing. I went to the Drs. office and they did the Doppler. They didn't get the heartbeat. My mom was with me (it was the only time my husband wasn't there). She kept telling me that he was probably in a position that they couldn't get it. I was already crying as if I knew. We did the u/s. Having had so many already, I knew what to look for. I didn't see the heartbeat and they confirmed my worst fear. My baby had died. I didn't know what to do. I had to call my husband and tell him. That was the hardest for me. My mom called my sister to have her drive my husband to the Drs. office and start the process.

My sister came and drove me and my husband home to retrieve some clothes for the hospital. The whole way I cried and laughed, I know now that I was in complete shock. We went back to the hospital and when I arrived the nurse asked me how far along I was...I didn't know how to answer, she thought they were going to induce my living baby. I had only that one bad experience. Everyone was wonderful to me.

I was very fortunate to have a quick labor. They broke my bags of water in the morning and I went through about 3 hours of really hard labor. Then, they decided it would be better if I had the epidural...I was having too many contractions too close together. The only bad part was the intense itching as I was allergic to something in it. I was at 4cm when the nurse told me that I would know when to call her because it would feel different. About 45mins later I called her back. She laughed and said it was too early, then she checked and saw the cord and the head. The Dr. barely made it in there and I was pushing. I only had to push four different episodes with about three bear-downs each time and I delivered.

My son was born still yet I know I was hoping that he would cry out. They were stunned by what they discovered had gone wrong. My cord was 183cm and normal is about 55cm. My Dr. was so shocked that he went to get a book to look up what this was all about. He had never seen anything like that. The cord actually hit the floor before my baby was all the way out. They cleaned him alittle and handed him to us. He was perfect, every feature. He had a full head of hair...long fingers and a beautiful face. He weighed 5lbs 11oz and was 18in. We immediately named him Killian Joseph. (I found out later that Killian means "little and warlike," so fitting.) We had originally decided that we didn't want anyone else to see him, but we changed our minds once we saw how perfect he was. Our families all got to hold him and love on him for those precious moments. We also took pictures and got his clothes and some hair, hand/foot prints to keep etc.

They did an autopsy and nothing was wrong with him. They have ruled this a cord accident. He was really lucky to have lasted as long as he did, without compressing such a long cord sooner.
I am still having a hard time with his passing and I know that he will always be with me. Recently someone asked me if I could relive one day the exact way it was originally what day would I choose? I would definitely relive the day my son was born still. That was a hard day for me but I would go back just to hold him and see my angel one more time.

Feminism

Well my viewpoint on this subject has done a 180. When I was 16, I thought the world would be in order as long as women had the same rights and jobs as men, with the same pay. I felt that my education and career were the most important aspect of my future. I was going to become the best damn lawyer and child advocate out there. I wasn't going to get married until I was well into my thirties and I really wasn't sure about children. If I decided on children, it would have to be a daughter and that's it! I was stubborn in any debate, often getting angry when someone questioned my knowledge on any subject. Politics only consisted of liberal views and you didn't want to get me started on the issue of abortion. (Umm Pro-Choice is not the opposite of Pro-Life) I was indeed headstrong.

Now looking back, I still view a lot of things the same but with a slightly more mature (hopefully) attitude. I still believe that women should be afforded the same rights and pay as men. I still think education is important, maybe not to the same extent, but still with great value to one's future. I still am the child advocate I once was, only in a different arena. When I got married, I saw my future in a different light. I allowed myself to be taken care of by a man. (OK I didn't know at the time....he had me removed from my work schedule and ultimately out of my job) But that being said, I didn't really argue the point much either...by then I was on my road to mommydom. The one and only thing on my mind was becoming a mommy. I puttered around our little apartment, scrubbing, cooking, and organizing (Yeah, Jay thought I was insane...he actually put his foot down when I had arranged his shirts in color scheme and alphabetized his cd collection...he could not find a damn thing thanks to me!) I no longer felt the need to fight for every woman out there. I was too busy laying on my back with feet propped waiting for the damn swimmers to finally make their destination. When that finally happened, I was pushed to the edge with my first miscarriage. Little did I know what would follow. Killian died and a part of my demand to be heard resurfaced. Thus my child advocacy years were emerging. Of course, it was no where near where I had expected it to be, I was actually fighting for my OWN children now. The beginning battles were just about having a voice in my ever complicated woes in childbearing. I wasn't getting anywhere with the drs and that started a fire that was familiar to anyone that had known me premarriage. After years of having to FIGHT for EVERY damn thing regarding the health of my children, I have finally come to understand my role as a moderate (ok maybe that's being too generous) feminist. I know that I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HEARD! It's strange that it actually is the role I had intended, just in a different form. I always knew that I would someday stand up for children's rights, I just had no idea it would begin with my own children. How strange the turns have become. So someday, I do in fact hope to swing another 180 and get back to "work" helping children other than my own. Someday, I hope to view the work I do now as the prehistoric age (I mean come on...a mother, wife, housekeeper and cook, bowing to my husbands needs?? How could I?) But for now I am grateful to carry the illusion that women and men need to have defined roles. I need to be home with my children (and I can't really afford to work as daycare is a whole other rant). It's become kind of defining in itself, that I can still have strong opinions and have a husband and children. (If my dad read this he would pee himself!)

Football

I know my stories about the kids are humorous (because I am quite witty, did I say that out loud? hmmm) Anyhoo, I also want this to be a journey of sorts for my kids to know me (they probably will die of embarrassment but oh well) I think the best way for me to to that would be to just pick random subjects and discuss how I feel....

So once again, if this kind of eclectic thinking drives ya nuts, then GO AWAY!

Football

Hey, you have to start somewhere and it's on tv, so?? I am a die-hard Niner fan. I grew up in the Bay Area, practiced soccer alongside of my Niners and it grew from there. I don't want any heckling, yes I know the state they have been in for a couple or ten years. They are still my HOME team. But the NFL is no longer my favorite in the football arena. I am a junkie for college ball too. Of course my beloved Auburn...I am biased but damnit we deserved a shot at that #1 last year. It is so awesome living amongst a team. Keara's school last year had Tailgate Day, with Carnell, and Ronnie and Jason Campbell all in attendance. How many kids 5 and 6 years old get to experience this? I mean Keara sitting on Jason Campbell's lap and pictures with "Cadillac" and Ronnie. How cool is that? This year the cheerleaders will come to her school a lot of Fridays and open the doors for the kids in the car line. I mean Keara wears her little cheer outfit and is in heaven. COOL. Anyway, back to my love of football. I can watch and NOT embarrass my husband which has been a HUGE bonus in our marriage. I can actually discuss previously played games without sounding like a moron. I don't argue or fight for the tv during football season (most weekends you will see me watching while he is off at work). My cousin played in college and I listened over the internet while I cleaned on Saturdays. Hell I almost went into labor at his HS playoff game, you are not going to see me quiet and seated at a football game. I can't remember ever missing the Superbowl. We always had these huge parties with our family (yes back then, I was normally cheering on my Niners) In fact one year they had to play at Stanford and we were out with the revilers cruising the streets after the Niners won. I can still see my grandfather's face tending bar and shouting madly at the little ones to "knock it off or take it outside" when they were being overly obnoxious for his taste. (that did not take much, however, I don't remember it with a sadness because that WAS Papa) I remember the beer, wine and food flowing freely. The atmosphere was friendly and hostile at the same time (we always had that guy who was rooting for the other team...he was relegated to the back or other room with the smaller tv...haha) We even had a tv stationed in the bathroom in case there was a urgent need to leave the party...you could not miss ANY part of the game. We played football in the yard at halftime, and I WASN'T a cheerleader! I played soccer for 13 years and each year my coach had us practice football as well. I LOVE FOOTBALL!

My Family, My Interpretation

Killian JosephPadraig Nicolas
Kai Thompson
Jason
Keara Makailynn

Wedding

So Silly I saw your wedding pic and decided that was way KOOL. So here is mine. Yes we had nine freaking attendants each and my brothers were ushers. Plus the two babies. We were freaking nuts! Look how young we are. BTW we are 10 years into this thing, 4 babies, 9 pregnancies and many sleepless nights and counting.

Sweet Keara

OK I didn't get back...get over it! I LOVE my sweet Keara. This morning she was using her Cheerios to create pictures while she ate. (She got such a good likeness to Jay hehehe) When she was leaving for school we were discussing Veteran's Day. How do you explain this to a seven year old? So I said it's a day for people that have served their country, such as going to war and such. So she looks back and says "Mom, I don't want to go to war, I want to be a Cheerios artist when I grow up." AAAWWWWWW

Another sweet Keara story....
She woke up this morning and told us about her dream last night. I knew she had a bad dream because my bed was invaded at midnight. Anyway, she tells me that she dreamt about a tornado. she said it was coming at her and I walked right over to the tornado and grabbed it. Then I tied it up and threw it away. How SWEET is that?!? She thinks I can always protect her. I fell all mushy just typing it out. LOVE MY SWEET KEARA!

Random Thoughts

What an eventful few days..........NOT! I am just recovering from all the sleep I finally managed to get. Jay was off 2 whole days in a row....I know I fainted too. So After I get up in the morn at 6 and make sure that Keara is dressed and beautified for school (Drig is sick yet again), I then head back to the king size heaven (and OMG I have it all to myself). I slept until 10 both mornings, ah it was sooooo nice. The crazy thing about my body though, I don't EVER feel rested, even with extra sleep. I dream WAY TOO MUCH! So, I mentioned Drig being sick again. GAWD, the boy can't stay healthy. The ENT put him on Tanafed and we will go back again in 3 weeks. He was only trying to pass his hearing test, but the damn tube is clogged and there is fluid stuck back there. UGH.

Yesterday we actually went out to Jay's work and shot some pics for our annual Christmas card. If you can believe it the shot we took first is the best. And I actually managed to get ALL three to smile!! Miracles happen everyday. So you know I named my blog and have yet to really discuss the impact Jay's job has on my life.....

Let me say as a disclaimer, I WILL NOT BASH ANYONE RELATED IN ANY WAY TO JAY'S JOB, NOR WILL I MENTION NAMES OF PEOPLE, PLACES AND POSSIBLY THINGS AT HIS JOB!

Being a golf pro's wife is mostly mundane. You expect the weird hours, long weekends, and endless discussion of weather. When you ask the question "How was your day at work?" you expect the same answer with two different versions, "It was great, pace of play was good!" or "It was ok, pace of play sucked!" Both of which didn't really satisfy my curiosity as to what really happened at work, but I am not privy to those sort of details. Every so often I must endure horrendous hours with the kids as a single parent because Jay must arrive at work at 5am and will not return home until dark thirty some time. During those said days, I usually find the kids at their most beastly and I lack patience more than I normally would. Jay will come in and say he is tired and thus spend the evening in the recliner asleep. I therefore don't speak with an adult for sometimes 3 full days. So if you do encounter me on the fourth day, I might sound like 4 year old and talk incessantly.

*will add more in a few, Drig just tore off is diaper and is running about marking his territory!

Depeche Mode

I LOVE Depeche Mode. I have been a fan for oh 22 years...saying that is really scary. I saw them in concert the first time when I was 16. It was a beautiful night out with a great guy, Steve. We had so much fun. Then I saw them in '94 with my BIL. That was another GREAT night. We danced in the aisles even when the damn security asked us not to. And I just got to see my beloved band again on Sat. Jay and I went to Atlanta, a two hour drive but worth every second. I actually left my kids with a friend and his girlfriend, I only asked to call and check 5 times, all of which Jay said HELL NO! I decked out in my least conspicuous 80's garb and did my very tamed 80's doo. It was marvelous to feel like that 16 year old again for a couple of hours. And my beloved played "Somebody" which I had yet to hear live. It is my absolute favorite song! Great night out.

A Conversation Between Keara and Kai

Kai: "Is it tomorrow?"

Keara: "No, it's today."

Kai: "No, but is it tomorrow yet?"

Keara: "Yesterday it was tomorrow today, but today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow."

Kai: crying and screaming "NOOOOOOOOOO, it is not today, yesterday you said it would be tomorrow and now it IS tomorrow."

Keara: "Kai, I can't help you buddy!"

Keara's Birthday

Keara's birthday was a success. She was so excited to go to school. I sent in a cake mix and the teacher helped her to bake it. She also received an ice cream at lunch "and no one else did!" We decorated the living room with streamers and balloons....she thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she got home. Her brothers each got her a Barbie pet pack and we gave her a Princess scarf, hat and gloves. Then we told her she could pick something out at the store. She had our money and some other relatives which gave her enough to buy a FurReal Puppy. His name is Scamps and I have to go off on a tangent here....

Scamps the puppy has really brain fu-ked me! You see this little dog can speak, beg, shake, and even become stubborn. If he decided to NOT do one of the afore mentioned, he simply WON'T. So we were working really hard to get him to shake and the damn dog was not having it. When he finally did it....I went on and on "ohhhh good puppy, great job, good pup, good doggy!" Then I started petting the damn thing and I really got sucked in. I mean he felt REAL. So now the dog that I am pet sitting for, is asleep on the couch and I am incessantly warning "sssssssssshhhhhhhhhh, don't wake Scamps!" I have been suckered. BahAHHHhhahhhha

Another random thought here. Jay is jealous. What in the world for you ask? I don't have the slightest idea. He says that I might find someone better someday and he just tries like hell for that not to happen. WHAT? It's too early for this thought, so I'll come back and formulate a better dialogue here.

Nothing on my agenda today! YEAH. I might even go get dressed now...MAYBE

Happy Birthday Keara

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY SWEET KEARA

Mean Girls

Yesterday was another of those hectic wild days. I thought I would get some rest because Jay was supposed to be off. NO, didn't happen. So instead of a well rested body, I was hyped all day on caffeine trying to keep myself going. Keara had a bad day. Her words, not mine. She didn't seem to get *in trouble* but she said some of the girls she usually plays with didn't want her to play. The thing is we had the same issues with this little girl last year. Keara just can't seem to stay away from her and is so sucked in by the whole thing. I have tried to veer her in a different direction and we're hoping she will go that way today. This little girl isn't even in her classroom this year but they meet up on the playground. Last night she just had such sad eyes, yk? GAWD it just breaks my heart when she is sad. So after we had a complete meltdown over how big her slice of cheesecake was, I brushed her for twenty minutes, while coming up with ideas on how to avoid the conflicts at school. It is truly amazing what a little brushing will do for her. She came up with the idea to bring a tiny one to school and brush her arms when her skin feels weird. Jay is concerned that she will be teased. I think if it makes her FEEL better, then hell, bring it. It is so hard to see your daughter and know that she is different from her peers. She is the most enthusiastic child around but that isn't truly *COOL* so it appears odd. I really don't care what THEY think but you know at some point it will hit the fan and she will care. Right now she can't figure it out in her head. She is such a pleaser and when they get those snotty attitudes she thinks she has done something mean to them. I just keep preaching that same lesson....if they aren't being nice, move on to someone else. When she was upset yesterday, the boy who loves her said that all she needed to do was ask and he would have played with her...how sweet and scary is that? The sad part about this all is that these children have to come upon this behavior from somewhere. They have models that are doing the exact same thing. I know, I've met those women! Keara will be ahead later but in the meantime it is breaking my heart!

Downtown Halloween

Halloween is such a fun but hectic occasion. The kids have to be fed and changed into those impossible to get on outfits all while they are running the course of the house YELLING at the top of their lungs something about getting C A N D Y. And this is when, as a really bright mommy, I am thinking, yes just what these little beasts need-more fuel in those already overexcited little bodies. But, alas, I may be bright but I'm also a sucker for the holidays and this is no exception. (We do actually receive the payback for all of our obnoxious behavior as a child. We just have to wait for our own kids to eat a billion snickers and barf on us.) My Ms. Kitty Fairy, Power Ranger and Buzz Lightyear did awesome in getting ready. They were so excited. We go downtown every year because it is just the safest place to be. (Sadly, I can't ever see a time that my kids will have the same enjoyment we did at Halloween. I remember frolicking carelessly through the streets, in the streets and among the bushes for that matter, all in the cover of darkness and for the most part unsupervised. I don't see that happening in this house EVER.) This years festivities were just as great as always. The only difference was that ten times the people showed their scary masks last night. Anyone who has navigated through a crowd with 3 small children (one that stares aimlessly to the sky, one that is falling sideways from fatigue and one that is terrified by the sight of the Darth Vadar kid behind him) knows that a HUGE crowd is only going to disturb what could ordinarily be called difficult but manageable and turn it into that nightmare you have about total loss of control. The kids have only so much pushing power and this mommy gets easily claustrophobic. Daddy does his best impersonation of a wide-eyed seven year old boy in the candy store. (I'm sure he is drooling with anticipation over the heaps of sugar that he will eventually confiscate from the pumpkins the kids are filling) They did fine for the most part. There was the dancing though. (I try like hell to become part of the surroundings, unfortunately my kids think that it is their duty....obligation, to make sure that we are the center of everyone's universe. Why oh why can't they just be good little, blah fixtures that are just part of the scenery and not the main attraction? I was not meant to be ogled by MANY spectators, giving appropriate "ooohs and ahhhs" abound. I was supposed to be on the outside doing that. But I digress.) So, the kids decided to put on their extravagant show. Keara doing some kind of gypsy dance that can only be accomplished using a FULL street corner. Kai doing his best ninja moves. And Drig shaking booty. (OK Drig's booty shaking dance was quite cute.) After we had collected our fee for providing the locals entertainment, we made our way down and OUT of there. On the way out we were lucky enough (or perhaps it's that the kids really are THAT cute) to get pom-poms from some of the Auburn girls that were NOT technically handing them out but "hey what the heck these kids are so damn charming we will give them ours!" Keara and all her issues, decided to scream and carry on as though we were beating her when we finally reached the road to leave. UGH But alas, I maintained composure and we did exit gracefully, albeit LOUDLY, to our car. The kids had a great Halloween and mommy and daddy are gonna get FAT!