Saturday, December 23, 2006


Tuesday, December 19, 2006


I really do not have the Christmas spirit. Actually I don't have the commercialized Christmas spirit. I am so sick of hearing what everyone is buying and getting. I LOVE to give presents (don't get me wrong) I just don't love how it's become more and more and more. I think if you can get meaningful presents, then go for it but if you are just giving to give *things* then why bother. I know a big part of it is we are broke and it SUX. I am so sad about not doing a thing for the kids. My mom and dad are playing Santa this year because honestly we just can't buy anything. I have found some little things at the Thrift Store but not anything they asked for. Thank goodness my kids are more excited about going to see Nan and Poppi and don't really know the difference. All the same, it still makes me sad.
I am sick and that makes me even more grumpy. I waited until today (even though I got the prescription order a week ago Mon.) to get it because it was $20 and I don't know that we can get the food we need if I get the antibiotic. But I know that I am headed for pneumonia and I just can't do that again. I am coughing day and night and the darn thing just sux. They gave me Avelox because I just had a Z-Pak a month ago. It is some strong stuff. I can only take it at night.
I feel like a baby because so many are worse than us and I shouldn't complain but it is pretty hard. I have been drawing like crazy and I just pray that everyone will enjoy them. This is the first year in like 15 that I can't do Christmas cards and frankly that makes me cry. I LOVE sending them. I love designing them and I am really depressed that I can't do them. I am going to do an email one but it isn't the same! I also cannot do the pictures I normally do...but I swear I am going to earn the money some how and do those, it's a history of my kids' lives and I cannot stop that!

OK enough bitching...gotta go get a cough drop AGAIN!!!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Christmas drawings

Obviously not done with this but for Jay's grandparents...

For my mom...not done LOL

I did this one for Keara's therapist...

Did this for my grandma...
from this picture...

More to come....

Saturday, December 02, 2006


*must begin with a note that I am writing this for ME*

I haven't been writing and I have pretty good excuses for that. To begin this saga...

Keara- Let's see what can I say about my dear sweet girl. Well, she has been SICK. It has been awful for her. We started Mon. morning with diarrhea that was uncontrollable. Tues. she began to vomit (or should I say throwing up because I am not allowed to say vomit in front of Keara). She could not hold any water down. She continued to throw up all day Wed. as well. By Thurs. she was holding her water but also in a lot of pain in her lower abdomen. We took her to the Dr. because we feared an Appendix problem. They think it's gonna be OK but she has now spiked a 102 fever. Friday she is feeling better in the tummy area but her ear hurts and she still has no appetite and isn't drinking well. She returns to the Dr. and sure enough, has an ear infection. We spent about 2 hours trying to get some liquids in her because at this point she is looking REALLY bad. She finally takes some in and off to bed. Today we felt she was doing a bit better but she comes to me at noon or so and says, "mommy what are these bumps on my ankles?" She has hives. UGH Tonight she has eyes that are SO bloodshot it looks painful. My poor baby girl. She has remained on the couch since Monday am. This is so sad to watch because Keara does not rest unless she is going to bed at night! OK the really bad part of her being sick (besides how awful she feels), we were supposed to get her state evaluation on Thurs. We have waited since the beginning of the school year for this because it is through the school and FREE. UGH So now we have to reschedule. Keara has done pretty good at school lately. We still have the occasional problem or teacher that has yet to encounter Keara at her "finest" LOL. We have decided that Girl Scouts is not for her. She has not had any fun and that's just stupid to make her go. All and all she is doing GREAT and I just love her dearly.

Kai continues to thrive at school. He is really trying to read now. I love love love his teacher. She is the neatest lady. The kids all know me now and that makes the volunteering so much better. He can still drive me nuts with his attitude and lack of listening skills but all and all he is good. I love his humor and the fact that I can actually joke around with him. LOVE my boy.

Drig is doing well too. They are treating his coughing as asthma. UGH But since we started the inhaler and pill, he is not coughing. SO it must be working. It sux but then if it works who the hell cares. His Dr. is 2.5 hours away. THAT SUX! He has had a burst of words lately and that is so awesome. He has also discovered stalling and asking "Why". LOVELY. Oh the best news...the boy uses the POTTY now all the time, he even stays dry at night!! WHOOHOO! Love my driggy boy.

I have been saving the best for last...harhar. OK go back a little bit and imagine this with me. I am looking for shoes for my daughter to wear to school because her sandals were not going to cut it in winter. I pay for the ones I find (only 12.99 at Land's End total bargain). Later that day, I get this strange phone call. The guy at Land's calls to tell me that my card did not go through. OK??? I call Jay and say, "please place this order with a card that will work, and why isn't the other working?" He replies "We will talk about it when I get home." Again OK??? So later we have this conversation where I discover that we are fucked. To make a really long and sad story short...he calls to find out about debt management and we don't have enough money for it. So he tells me the only way out is bankruptcy. So we are now in bankruptcy. Scanning back over bills and shit that I have not seen until now because Jay had hidden everything from me and basically I had to ask for any money I needed, but looking it over Jay just stopped paying some bills and forgot others. So we had to fork over the lawyers fees and filing fees and pay our normal shit and the one that was missed and our insurance that happens to be due for the next six months and it is Christmas...I cry everyday, what the hell am I going to do about Santa? GAWD I love Jay but I really don't know if I can take anymore. Everyday some more BAD news get thrown at me and I just can't handle it. And this morning as I am tallying the money, I realize that food might not be an option. Kidding but really I guess I will go to the food bank and beg. Add to this that I don't have tampons or even toilet paper and I am starting to worry. I may have to get rid of the Internet and cable, hurts Jay and kids really but what can ya do?

So I thought it would help to write it but it hasn't. OH well. And I cut 9 inches off my hair last long for now!