Tuesday, October 25, 2005
I am an IDIOT
So I have been living in bliss. It seemed too good to be true and alas it is. I love Jay. I just hate the fact that he is so so so dumb sometimes. So awhile back I had some really serious health issues. I have a heart valve problem and for months I was experiencing chest pains daily. We determined that I needed less stress to get better. One thing that was very stressful was doing our finances. See, I don't work and Jay has a great job but with 3 children, his job just doesn't pay enough. He decided he needed to take over the bills for me and reduce that part of my stress. It worked, I have been without chest pains for about 6 months now. I didn't even open bills but I did often ask Jay how it was going and reminding him to be vigilant in paying blah, blah, blah. Well, yesterday I did open a bill and guess what, Jay was screwing up BIG TIME. So I went back over several bills and discovered he has been late on select bills every single month for months. The kicker to this is that every one that has all these late payments are in MY name. Plus he put all the cards onto one card...you guessed it MY CARD! So, here I sit with mounting debt in my name and late fees and BAD CREDIT. It sux! Jason just doesn't even GET IT. He is so dumb sometimes. Now what? I don't have a clue. I could get a job and that would cover daycare....so what good is that? I NEED to get my teeth worked on, they are full and I mean like EVERY single tooth of cavities. I am so sick about this. I was hoping I could do my teeth this year but now with Christmas and Keara's bday we can't even think about it. So I can cry and again that won't do any good. I just was so happy to feel happy you know? I guess I am stupid too. The weird thing is I don't care about money but I don't want my kids to NEED things they can't have. I just don't want to be lied to. I just want to be happy!