Monday, October 03, 2005

The Beginning

So, I decided that I needed a place to write about all the amazing, incredible things my kids say and do on a daily basis...Here we goooooooo.

Keara starts Brownies tomorrow, although she is already selling the nuts/candy and mags. She called her Guinney and after she managed to snag the nuts/candy sale, she asks "well is there anything else you might be interested in?" A born salesperson!

Kai, the little angel that never gets into trouble LOL, comes running into the room after he witnesses his daddy and his sister in a heated argument and says "Mama, is he gonna kick her ass?" Ummm no sweetheart, that's not exactly what you'd call it LOL.

Padraig cannot say anything, (for pete's sake, he calls me NaNa), can say WWHHYY? And top that off with a southern twang, OMG it's just so darn cute!

Jason, my love, has finally granted my wish....We have now painted the living room. But....It is vomit green! Ok, so I picked out the color, thinking that it was going to be more sagey. It is NOT. Jay LOVES it. He says "it brings me back to my childhood." GAG But, it does go perfectly with the nasty brown carpet and the joke yard sale painting that I have been enduring for 10 years now. Gotta love him, he is stuck in the 70's.

Me-hmmm, well I have had a lot of epiphanies of late. Weird how you can live for thirty some odd years and never realize some things. I think differently than others, I have always assumed that people have a good quality in them and I try to find it. I guess others do not do this. This sounds odd but I really thought everyone tried to find something that they could like about everyone. I do.
(and not to sound high on myself either, because I honestly always thought I must be doing truly ugly things to people, so as they didn't want to be friends)
This, too, I have found is probably a bad thing to do. I end up being hurt when people don't see something in me that is friendship worthy. Or worse I cannot really grasp what I do to rub people the wrong way and then feel compelled to overcompensate. Bad, Bad, Bad. I also realized that there are things that I am truly still SAD about. I really always thought that at some point I would be "over" Killian's death. I thought I could come to a day when I would watch a program where someone had a miscarriage or lost a child and I would not directly link it to Killian and the other losses. This has not happened to me yet. I find myself thinking of the things that I cannot control and it is terribly sad. I am just so, so, so sad for the people of NO et. all, they lost everything. I miss my Mimi. I just ache to have her to talk with. She will always be the one and only person to "get" me. I truly just long to see her. The other side to this is quite funny....I am not depressed, nor have I been in a while (since I got off those damn meds that were drowning me). I am so happy, fulfilled and just content, yk? So it's funny to figure out some quite profound things all while I am just so engaged in my life. WEIRD!

Not bad for the first post. Man, this is quite enjoyable, I must now make this a habit.

1 comment:

sillypants said...

it is addicting, huh? And theraputic !

Did you get any grief counseling after Killian? The reason I ask is, are you supposed to get over it? Because I don't think I could either and I think that's normal and the way it should be. I think it would become less painful, but I could never get over it.

You are a good blogger:)