Thinking back

There were *special* people in my life along the way and for some reason I have either lost touch or they have.

CC- You were the one that really could just take me for who I am. You had patience and a kindness in you that I deeply miss. I want THAT kind of friendship back. I think I probably hurt you in the most profound way and I am so sorry, I was stupid and young.

PK- Wow we were a pair and I miss that too. You were the wise one, the one that could "put me in my place". Maybe that's why we stopped talking, I couldn't hack the truth back then. I wish I knew you now.

SG- When I heard that you died...I cried for days. Man you were my mom for so long and helped in ways that I can't even describe. SO SAD.

BB- Well you will always be my soul mate. I just know that when we do communicate, although it is not often enough, that you *get* inside my brain and understand everything. You were right about us. We would have ended bad again. I loved every minute while it lasted though.

GM- I really miss you. We had so much fun and I got you like you got me. Maybe we can still go back. The others interfered and they are idiots, which I am sure you would say "told ya so". LOL I hope we will find our way back.

SE- I guess time and motherhood has just taken it's toll on us. I know that you are still there as I am for you. We'll get it back together one day. I am so proud to know you!

TB- UGH this is such a complicated one. On one hand, I still feel like I know you but then I think I never really knew the real you anyway. I know one element and I know there has to be more but I am so reluctant to dig. I do enjoy your playful teasing. Maybe I will try harder one day but right now this is it.

SM- OMG you are so missed. I don't even have a clue where you are. I still love to iron.

AM- Ok so I saved ya for last. I don't even know what I feel about you. You saved me and will always be my protector. It's an odd thing and you know why. I still adore your candid talk with me. I miss your arms. (In a really innocent way) You *KNOW* me at a level that I can't explain or hint at with anyone else. Was it totally tragic...us? I don't know. I am where I am and I chose it, you didn't but I think that may be easier to deal with....doesn't make sense. You will always be there!

WOW, that felt good.