KILLIAN JOSEPH 4-26-97

Dear Killian

My tiniest angel, you would be 9 today. I cannot believe how the time flies. I can still feel your soft, beautiful skin. Your tiny fingers wrapped around mine. I feel your long toes kicking my stomach and that special roll that only you could do. Remember the game we would play? You kept mama entertained for hours. And you would gently nudge your daddy when he was hogging your space with mama. It was so fun. We are so blessed BECAUSE of you. Keara, Kai and Padraig are wonders. YOU did that. You gave me so much clarity with your passing. THANK YOU! My heart aches when I imagine your last hours but I promise I don't dwell on it anymore. I wake in the morning hours and your song is heard. I can still see that cloud you sent me, it is glorious.

I wonder what you would be like now. I can only imagine that you would be a compassionate, loving, and gentle young boy. You would be enjoying soccer and baseball, perhaps playing golf with your daddy. You would be a GREAT big brother. I can imagine your silky hair would be going in a hundred different directions and you wouldn't care at all. Your smile would light everyone's life. We sure miss you.

I know it has been 9 years but there will never, ever be a day to go by that I don't ache at my core for you. I MISS YOU! But mama can't stay down, I made you a promise a long time ago and I will hold up. I will see the positives and remember you in a good way. I LOVE YOU!

Love Mama