Magic Pill

We have been praying for a magic pill to appear and help Keara. We found it! I am so beyond excited right now. Keara started on Prozac a couple of weeks ago and I really think it is just what she needed. I was so AGAINST it at first but finally after 5 different tries, we decided we had to try it. OMG it has been AMAZING! Last night we went to Family Fun Night at Drig's school. Keara is usually a mess during and after these type events. But last night she was so pleasant. She went in the big blow-up bouncy thing and was FINE! If you don't understand a child like Keara this seems like no big deal but for Keara it was HUGE. She has never been able to do these things without a. melting down and b. having to get out early. Last night not only did she stay the entire time, she ENJOYED it. Then she went on the big blow-up slide. She is usually afraid of heights but again she LOVED it. I was that sappy mom crying as I watched Keara really be a kid and have fun. I can still tear up just remembering. It was FANTASTIC. I have waited a long time to watch my little girl have a good time doing stuff kids do and last night for the very first time I got to see it. I cannot express how happy I am!

So she told me...

Me: "Why are they teaching you things that I didn't learn?"

Keara : "Because it is modern day math!"

ALRIGHTY THEN!

You know you are in the south...

When...

The sign at the Aquarium says "No fishing poles allowed!"

Ya think? DUH


I found this to be absolutely hysterical.

At long last an update...

Keara: She is doing so awesome. I am a little scared to even post this because I might jinx it LOL. We finally broke down and went with Prozac. So NOT what I wanted to do. But we did try five different meds before this and none did it. The last one had her moods pretty good but we couldn't go up with the dose because she literally threw chairs across the room the week we tried. We are just so wanting the anxiety to be less. We had to try this and so far I am so happy we did. It is amazing, Keara, my sweet little girl is here...EVERYDAY, ALL DAY! Seriously, if you understand what we have gone through with her, this is truly the greatest miracle we could hope for. So far her fears have diminished as well. YEAH! She is still doing fabulous in school. She got her progress report and it was 97%, 97%, 98% and 98%. She was disappointed that she didn't get 100%. We tried to explain that it was ALL her grades averaged and these were FANTASTIC scores, but she said she was going to try even harder. LOL Her chorus is going great. Man my kid has a beautiful voice. She is so good. We're just happy she found her niche.

Kai: He is doing well in 1st grade. He lost both of his bottom teeth and it's adorable. He has developed yet another crush. It really is sweet. He is officially reading now too. At first I was a little concerned because he was just memorizing the books, but the last couple of days he has been really reading. He is so proud of himself.

Drig: My little squirt is really smart. I am a little stunned because up until recently, it was really hard to understand him. His speech is getting so much better now. And along with that we are finding that he is quite smart. (we knew he was smart but just not how smart kwim?) Anyway, the other day Keara asked him how many syllables words have in them and he would clap out the word and tell her. He did it totally on his own too. It was crazy. He is nonstop football, basketball and golf. OMG, he acts out the entire thing, even does replays for ya, like the games do. It is pretty funny. I cannot believe my baby will be five in a month! UGH! Where has it gone?

Jay: He is my changed man! I guess everything that we went through was worth it because he is so much better now, of course I do have the control of the money. LOL But we are just having fun again. LOVE IT! He is really supportive of my health issues too. LOVE HIM!

Me: UMMM, I am willing to do anything to have my teeth fixed. And the rest of the damn body as well. It really is quite annoying but I am just not going to think about it right now. I just have to ignore the pain and hope it will GO AWAY! Ok self talk done, I'm good!

*This is a bad football year, how bout two loses for my Tigers and I am 0-3 in fantasy. Yeah, I suck!

The slurred post...

Ya know when yuou type something about five times and it still looks wrong. Yeah, that's about it. So I finally had some company tonight...that's my excuse for drinkking. Bahha. I know I am wasted. I really didn't want to waste it though, lest here I am. Dude I cannot see the letters. I am erasing everything I write. LOL So we had Will here. Gotta love him. He is such a great guy. Totally doesn't get annoyeds with my kids which if yoou know them, says a lot! I am so trashed...wish I had a reason to do something obnoxious...just donlt ya know. UGH Jay is nodding off over there on the couch, making some strange noises LOL. I cannot tell you how funny it seems right now but I'm sure that tomorrow it will be NOT funny! BAHAHHHA. And I am watching ALabama LOSE! YEAH! I really don't like them. Think I'm gonna have a brownie...sounds good doesn't it? I made these great homemade ones with marshmellows on top....ummmm! Anyway, I'm drunk and shouldn't be here so, see YA!

OMG Drig is the SWEETEST...mostly

Imagine that

Imagine that,

Keara sent an email to her teacher without my knowing ...

Kai was falling from the tree before I could utter the words "be careful"

Keara is going to save the world by becoming a singing meteorologist.

Drig is going to kill his mommy by becoming a motorcycle cop...

Kai will just be Kai

I have another cold and the passing out spells have returned

I actually got through one sentence of this without Drig whining...

I will come back to this blog more than one time a year

OH Who Knows but Imagine that!

Talking to MYSELF

I am about to be insane. That is laughable, if only I hadn't joined those ranks YEARS ago. So, Fridays are my days that SUCK. I should not say that but I CAN NOT HELP MYSELF. Drig is home ALL FREAKING DAY! And it sucks. There sign me up for the worst mom award, hands down I WIN! He whines like a freaking 2 year old and I really think I will be losing my hair one strand at a time today. It will be a S L O W tortuous death to my hair. My eyebrows might even fall. I am SERIOUS. We have since 7:30, already played golf, basketball, football and tried to watch Cars. Now the boy is bored again and is walking around saying "Mama is about to be pissed!" Where he gets such language is beyond me! UGH. I tell you, er myself since I think I write to my own imagination, TODAY WILL SUCK! That's about that!

Blah, blah, blah

So, we started school already. Fun stuff. Well I should actually back up to the end of our summer. I get a call on Monday that my dr. would like to do my surgery (laparoscopic oophorectomy and hydrothermal ablation) the next day. I hemmed and hawed but my LOVELY hubby said I was doing it. I was not happy. So we quick called MIL to come help as Jay had to come to the hospital with me. She really saved us! Anyway, it went fine and I am cancer free so that's what is important. Anyhoo that was the week before school started. Needless to say I have been really sore doing all the prep work and such.

Keara is doing great so far in the 3rd grade. She has a veteran teacher and that has been really nice for me. She is going to a new Psychiatrist and we like him (yes amazing...it's a boy) a lot better than the last. Again, a new medicine, hope this one works. Don't know though since it's only been a couple of weeks. She is WAY into HSM2 and Hannah, but it's funny to hear her talk of it, she thinks it's real! I can just see her trying to go into the class and break out in song! LOL Oh and she has joined the chorus. She is going to love it. She has the best voice. I am really excited for her!

more to come....

Mine

Keara's look-alikes

Drig's look-alikes

Kai's look-alikes

Jay's celebrity look-alikes

Boys

Worst Blogger Ever

So I am the worst blogger EVER! I really just don't have the energy to type because I type like a freaking idiot.....imagine talking like this "h o w a r e y o u?" That is how I type and I hate it. O there is my excuse.

Keara is in an Autism Clinic this month and doing really well. There is another little girl in it with her that is like her twin. So great for Keara. We are now on her third medication and again not seeing the effects. The first one caused a rash, the second just did nothing (well maybe even caused aggression) and now the third is doing nothing. It really is the wrong type anyway, as they are trying to calm her with ADHD meds and she doesn't have ADHD. GAH! But we will try another and this time we are going to be adamant about it being for anxiety! She is back to not wanting to go outside, and quite frankly that is unacceptable. She got a new bed and is very excited abut painting it and applying the wallpaper border we got her. Princess and pink of course. She has been watching a lot of shows on raising lions, tigers and other big cats. She adores these shows, as well as, Bindi the Jungle Girl!

Kai is the same ole rowdy boy! He is trying to read and can do tons of math problems. He also seems to have the patience to try and learn the guitar from his daddy. He will actually hold it right, the other two just will not! We got a pool and the kids are really enjoying it. Keara is our fish, under water so much that she actually got swimmers ear and an inner ear infection. So now we have to put drops in after every swim. Kai doesn't like to dunk but is swimming a lot on top of the water with floaties. Drig is just cautiously approaching the whole thing. Although he has dunked a couple of times, on accident, he was fine with it. Drig has become Mr. Personality. He is so animated and soon you can see it for yourself, we are finally getting our cord to put our movies on the computer. His speech is so much better. We are thrilled with the progress and he has another year of his Special PreK. It will do wonders I know. Keara will be getting speech next year too. She gets quite angry when we discuss her R's.

A Drig funny,

We were driving down the road and saw a truck with the Jr. #8 logo. Drig was so excited he yelled out "A Jr. fan!" We said yes it is. He then said "WOW Jr. has two fans!" It was the sweetest thing ever!

I will try to get back more often, (I write as if someone actually reads this LOL) but you know PROMISES PROMISES!

We have the official diagnoses....

We knew this to be true a long time ago but have been waiting for the official word....Keara is autistic, specifically Aspergers. Like I said, I knew when I dove head first about a year ago into the research but getting the official word is going to get us the help we need, finally. The school people went in with a different agenda, which we expected. The evaluator said it would be interesting to meet Keara after hearing two opposite versions of the girl. There was some similarities, probably with the OCD and Anxiety...after all the school was so kind to point this out to us LOL. I mean HELLO, DUH! Pretty obvious that those two disorders are there. She also has a host of other comorbid disorders like Dysgraphia, sensory issues, and possibly ADHD. But the evaluator gave us a clearer picture. She explained that the Aspergers is like a big box and the other disorders are all inside the box. If we can treat the whole box, some of the issues inside will also benefit and minimized. This is not to say she won't have to have meds and other therapies as well but it will help tons. She is now qualified for the IEP. That alone will give us the leverage and opportunity we need. Right away she should receive OT and Speech/Language therapies. We should have been getting those already but the school still felt that it was us, the incompetent parents fault and had her on a behavior plan. I will digress because I DO know what it is like to deal with Keara on a daily basis and it is not easy. The school has made some good choices for her and have tried. They just didn't have the whole picture. So now we can start fresh.

I can tell you that I have cried myself to sleep over Keara but it doesn't do anyone any good. I have mourned the loss of what could be. I hope that I am moving in a clearer direction, one toward making the best Keara possible. I think we can do it now!

Is it possible for your heart to truly break? Does it change you or do you just fade off into oblivion? I am starting to think that if you have enough heartache, you cannot overcome it. I think sometimes what and who I could/should be...the answers are so much bigger than what I am today. I am really a shell of what I was. I am defeated in grief...and then not. I am not making much sense. I just wonder if I can ever get over certain losses? I don't think I can and that just really terrifies me. I miss, so much, my Killian and Mimi. I cannot even put into words how absolutely lonely it feels without them. I miss being some one's greatest, some one's angel, some one's most and everything. I don't like lies and I don't like secrets and I have both. I don't like missing people and I don't like being sad. I wish I wasn't and don't think I will ever get over it. In April it will be ten long years.

more later

Good Friends

WOW...

I have some GREAT friends. One of my friends, Laura, sent me a gift. It was unexpected and so very welcome! I had a good cry because I just really needed something like that. She sent a gift for my kids too! How sweet is that? The kids were absolutely thrilled. Drig said "the mailman gave me a gift!" I said "no honey, that was Ms. Laura." He then said "Ms. Waura is me best fend!" It was so cute. He was so happy to have his very own Moonsand. Keara was equally thrilled with her own drawing book and Kai loved the Moonsand too. Keara said "mama, she doesn't even know me." I told her that Ms. Laura knows a lot about her and is very special. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She is such an inspiration and has always been so helpful in her advice to me.

So thank you again Laura! Love ya!

Idiots Rule Update

I am the CHAMPION!

After posting the second best record next to Jay, I entered the playoffs. The first round was a nail biter but in the championship round I won by 75 points. And I BEAT Jay!!!

So I am shamelessly walking around asking, "who's the best? who is the master of fantasy league? who is the CHAMPION?" The answer is of course ME! A girl beat all the boys!!!