Must be a freaking Record

I am blogging three VERY different blog entries in one night. HUH! Well I couldn't let this damn pain in the ass tooth not get the recognition it deserves. You may ask why a tooth would need it's very own story but you see this tooth has been wearing me down for 2 fucking weeks. What began as a simple toothache, quickly turned into an abcess, that was removed and now a damn fucking dry socket. Can I just tell you how aggravating this thing is. I cannot take the meds during the day because I have three monster children that decide to cut each other's hair if I only dare to pee by myself. I have to take the less useful motrin. At night I take the *good* stuff but then I cuss my husband saying "I think you are giving me tic-tacs instead of the pain meds." My poor Jay has been getting up EVERY night at 2 to give me my meds and I cuss him out, poor guy. So I called the dentist back today and said "please help me!" He agreed to see me and even for the kids to come along because Jay was working. (fortunately Jay was able to get some time off mid day because of inventory tonight) So they can't really figure if it is dry socket or the freaking tooth next to it (if I haven't mentioned I have awful teeth and really couldn't afford all the work they need so I have put it off...see what shit that gets ya?) Anyway, he packed the tooth with this gawd awful clove tasting shit and it numbed my right side completely. So I get to taste this crap, be super careful not to let it come out because it is the only saving grace right now and pray that it will heal quickly. The dentist really was a dumbass...he had the nerve to say well the other one will probably need a root canal, if that's what you want to do? DUH I don't really have a choice dumbass, I AM IN PAIN! So now I just have to find out if he will do more than one tooth at a time because I am NOT dragging this process out for months, they will have to do it 3-4 at a time or I won't go to him!@! SO there.

Must be my turn to cry

You know those damn days where everything and I mean EVERYTHING makes you weepy? UGH I really hate them. Today I am just really sad. I know that this is my time of year to be sad...and every year it comes I *think* it will be better this time. But you know what, IT WILL NEVER BE OKAY THAT MY SON DIED. I can't make that better. So like every other year, I will just have to be sad. I think I get more sad lately because I can't just go sit at his grave. (I know *he isn't there* but it does feel good to go there...can't explain it really) Killian was the most beautiful baby, I remember how perfect he was. I just don't know why he had to die and why I had to go through that. I have been told over and over that I was blessed with three wonderful children...don't lose sight of that, don't dwell on the past...and I don't think I do. But Killian DID matter and will NEVER be forgotten. I'm not going to pretend that he doesn't matter, he ALWAYS will. So I will cry this month more than usual and I will go on. I love you Killian Joseph!

My Yellow Butterfly

To my beautiful yellow butterfly,

I have missed you for a very long time. I think of you almost everyday (and by not saying everyday, I am in no way feeling less of a loss but I do have three children that keep me pretty occupied). I have needed you a lot lately and it is very evident that you *get* that. Thank you for visiting at the hospital, on a day that only YOU could understand my apprehensions and worries. Thank you for the visit in the back yard when I really just needed the extra strength to continue the day. Thank you for today, I know I needed it but to give my daughter the gift too, that is amazing. I know I will continue having our special meetings and they will all be important to my heart. Today, I just need to thank you!

Floppy Squish

I went today and had my first mammo. I was warned repeatedly to take something because it would be uncomfortable. It so WAS NOT! I didn't have ANY pain at all. It wasn't even slightly uncomfortable. I guess there is something good about having torpedo floppies. I just had to plop them puppies up there and voila. Jay joked about not stepping on them, but come on they are not THAT big. LOL The nasty discharge tested negative, so far so good. Probably just some hormonal thing that I have to endure. Yippy for me. One down, one to go. Tomorrow, the tooth extraction....YUCK! Now that I am a bit concerned about. I'm trying not to think too hard though. Wish me luck. Get the results from the mammo on the 4th...hope they are good too.

Can you say Warped?

Jay was making a homemade pizza dough crust, kneading it and letting the kids watch.

Jay: "This smells like beer."
Kai: "Yeah, it does smell like beer."
Me: "Kai you don't even know what beer is buddy."
Keara: "I do. It's the stuff that Santa gets on Christmas!"

Jay and I just about died...how warped are our kids?

Weird Kids

GAWD...I know I have said it before but Jay and I were not genetically matched to procreate. Together we have created these little weirdos er unusual children. I do sometimes wonder however, if I am NOT the problem. Jay has such strange issues...it HAS to be his fault. The latest in the freaky behaviors are of course coming from Drig and Keara, who else? Keara has decided that she has too much hair in her head...her solution, pull it out. WHAT? And she doesn't just pull one hair, it's like 15 at a time. UGH Drig has a hair issue too. He doesn't want his eyelashes. AGAIN WHAT? He is constantly asking for us to cut them off. I am so done analyzing this shit...they are just WEIRD!

Who knew??

I did not know there was a antibiotic that can actually make you feel tipsy. I switched meds and this one is a doozy. Not to mention the new pain med that is supposedly ok for daytime mommy use. NOT! We will be just fine as long as I don't have to do any driving or thinking to hard. Hell as long as it is ok that I can only have one eye on them boys, we will be fine (the other one just doesn't want to stay focused) I am SOOOOO screwed today, but damn after a week of this pain I need some daytime relief. Hell I wasn't taking any mind altering shit yesterday and Kai still managed to lure hundreds of ants into the bathroom. He actually placed (methodically, I might add) pieces of pancake with sugar...supposed to be HIS breakfast...in the corner of the shower for his friends, the ants. And they came! He was so freaking excited. But being the evil mommy I am, I dashed those dreams with a nice big squirt of the bug killer. The boys both melted down and expressed their disdain for me thoroughly! So today can't be that bad, can it?? I'll get back to you and let ya know!

We survived the Flu...now onto better ailments

Ok we did survive, albeit barely. Keara was a mess and literally 12hrs away from being admitted. She was lucky to do a quick turnaround. She lost so much weight but that too is back on track. Drig was my other mess. His temps just kept up for 10.5 days. It was awful. Kai was pitiful but at least under control. Jay and I both suffered but only to the extent that parents CAN suffer when their children are sick. So all was well in our house until.....

Saturday at 1am...I wake up with the most horrible pain. I am thinking I might just die. Nothing and I mean nothing from my vast selection of meds even touched this pain. I was in the bowels of hell I tell you. I have a tooth infection. So we call around Sunday to try and get some relief and wouldn't you know that ALL 6 dentists we call either don't take emergencies from nonpatients or wouldn't return our calls. Plus the walk-in clinic would not touch me either. So, I had to suffer and I mean SUFFER ALL day Sunday. Monday morn I went in and found out it was infected and would just get the damn thing extracted, but not before I have to go through a round of the second class antibiotics (ie. I don't get relief as fast) because I am allergic to their first choice. LOVELY. Now they told me that by 48hrs I would be out of pain...so her I sit on day 4 of the antibiotic and I am writhing in pain. I called the dentist back and now I am patiently waiting for another antibiotic to kick in. Plus I can't take the wonderful pain meds because you see I have three kids and apparently the two don't mix. I take them at night and tell Jay all kinds of weird shit. Last night I asked for pancakes as long as they weren't the kind with trees. LOL So he also prescribed a better pain med for daytime use. AWWW this sux. On Tuesday I will be getting the sucker pulled thank goodness.

Add to all the excitement...I also get to have a mammo on Monday. They wanted to do it Friday but Jay just couldn't pull it off at work. I think the tooth was actually a distraction from all the worry with my floppies. I really haven't had time to sit and think about it, my brain just gets muddled with this awful pain and I forget I am anxious.

And now I must attend to the beasts again...I swear I could just curl up in a nice warm bed and stay there for weeks...I am SOOOO tired and in SOOOO much pain! UGH

Flu - Part Deux

Well I was correct in assuming that Keara would be hit. She woke up in the middle of the night with 103+ (she wouldn't let me keep going). We struggled getting her to the bathroom and she got sick in the sink. Then we dosed her and I got the lovely job of rubbing her sore arm until she was half dozed. Finally I just invited her back to my bed because I am not the nicest person after sleeping on the floor. At 4:30 poor Jay had to drag his butt out of bed and get ready for work. He is with a fever and pretty wicked cough. Drig coughed almost ALL night so I dosed him this morning with the night time cough stuff. He's asleep now. Kai is still with fever and a nice cough as well. Oh I almost forgot about the lovely trail of diarrhea that Drig left me this morning. You see the boy is not potty trained yet ever so often he decides that using the toilet is OK. So, this morning he had one of those inclinations and stripped his diaper. He doesn't however, poop in the potty, instead he pooped his way TO THE POTTY, leaving a wide swath of destruction in his path. Just what a already near puking mommy needs to clean up at 8am. UGH I am just barely here, again, trying to keep busy so my eyelids will not close.


*One great sidenote....GO TAR HEELS! Beat the Devils in a FANTASTIC showing of freshmen POWER!! YEAH! :)

UGH....FLU

OHMYGAWD! We have gotten the flu. Drig started on Wed. with 104+ temps. By Thursday we decided to get him checked and of course they can't do a darn thing for him. Friday, we are starting to get concerned for poor Driggy. He has started to vomit (all over his mama) and cannot keep his meds in. We call the Dr. and they don't return our call, so meantime I am just frantic with him reaching 104.5, just waiting for him to seize (he has been known to do this to us). We finally got a hold of my nurse sister and she advises some suppositories. Thank goodness this worked out. Drig is now with only 101 or less. He has also kept some juice down. Thank goodness because Kai woke this morning (he started yesterday too) with 105 temp. So now we are on every three hours with him. He isn't coming down like I would like (after 1.5 hours he is only at 102.9). We are in the Tylenol cycle and it doesn't look to good. He may end up going to the hospital today if we can't get the temps down. UGH Keara is only at 101 so far, but it is only the first day so I'm not holding out much hope there. Jay went to work with cough drops and taking Dayquil. He has a clinic today, outside in the cold (poor guy). I'm sure he will perk up tonight though as Carolina plays tonight ;) I am just starting to feel bad. I have the worse case of the dizzies (I have already instructed Keara on what to do in case I pass out..that's how bad it is). And this is all after we got the flu shot (guess there is a different one around here). I am just trying to keep busy, washing sheets and taking temps. LOL I hope this will pass by me quickly!

The thing about blogging....if I don't really do anything of note, I just feel I shouldn't go through the mundane task of documenting nothing. Of course it isn't really nothing, it's more like boring. Day in and day out the kids continue to do what they do and I continue to wonder how I could have genetically produced such a mess. Kidding sorta. Keara wakes every morning with a LOUD OBNOXIOUS SCREAM that pierces my eardrums before I have even had my essential coffee. This continues because "Please, please just let me sleep, YOU NEVER LET ME SLEEP!" I quietly explain that tonight we will again push up bedtime to 6:30 (and who the fuck goes to bed at that ghastly hour, but such is the life in my house). She will then proceed to engage her father in a verbal war that will go on until the moment they leave the house. I will hear what an awful mommy I am, how I am causing her to be malnourished and that she will have behavioral problems at school because of the reasons mentioned above. Then we are onto child #2 that needs to leave for school. This little one will wake up smiling but it goes down the tubes from there. We will have picked out the wrong outfit because he thinks so...no rhyme or reason for his disapproval. The socks will be turned inside out but they will still cause such discomfort that this cute little guy will burst into tears, SCREAM in terror and rip the mother fucking things right off his feet. We will then play a little game that has become a ritual of sorts...where does this shoe go? Does it go on your ear? NO. Does it go on your knee? No. All the while he is coming back to normal land and laughing at our silliness. We will then quick launch his feet into shoes and socks and bribe the little terror with a cookie for the way to school. That is the last of my headache as I do not have the wonderful duty of toting his little butt to school. I have heard various rumors that he watches dvds on the way and that his feet never really hit the ground until he is in the classroom, but these are just rumors. I dunno! Then I am left with the biggest whiner on the planet. Which is ok really because it takes at least 45 minutes for the true talent to surface...thus I have time to at least get the coffee going. So, that took up the first 1.5 hours of my day (everyday) and it is only 7:30. So I could write about this stuff everyday (maybe I can cut and paste) or I can just delete it in the hopes that surely nobody can have mornings this awful EVERY FUCKING DAY! (Gawd, I never really think that swearing in this is a GOOD idea but truth be known....I FUCKING swear A LOT) .....

And the rest of the day will have to wait because now I have the oh so fun job of reining the little angels in for bed....